查看完整版本: 笑不笑由你

笑不笑由你

1.一美女去买衣服。
美女问男老板：“请问这件衣服多少钱？”
男老板色迷迷的说：“我们这里消费不要钱，但是一件衣服需要一个吻。”
美女听后，很高兴的挑选了很多件衣服。
结账时，美女指了指旁边，对男老板说：“我奶奶付款。”

评论：好心有好报啊，这经理当的那叫一个..

2.一美女养了一只鹦鹉。
晚上美女正在浴室洗澡，鹦鹉说：“看到了！看到了！”
美女生气地对鹦鹉说：“再叫就拔光你的毛！”
第二天，一位光头的客人来到美女家里。
鹦鹉偷偷地飞到客人的肩头，问其：“你也看到了吗？”

评论：不止是男人色啊

3.老虎和狮子正在酒吧喝闷酒，喝着喝着，竟抱头痛哭起来！
这时，服务员狐狸走过来问道：“两位大哥为何哭的如此伤心？”
狮子拍拍狐狸，指着老虎说：“他家有个母老虎，俺家有个河东狮！这日子没发过啊！”
狐狸听后，立刻眼里饱含泪水，委屈地说：“两位大哥，俺家那个狐狸精也不省心呀！”

评论：家家有本难念的经..

4.学生甲：“张老师刚在班会上讲了不许随地吐痰，可是你...”
学生乙：“你瞧，我可没有往地上吐。”
学生甲：“那你吐在那里了？”
学生乙：“吐在墙上。”

评论：不仅可以吐在别人的鞋上，还可以吐在别人的脸上

5.一个宴会上，一名火箭专家热情地向朋友们介绍：“最近，我们把几只老鼠发送到一个遥远的星球上。”
刚说完，一名女士就插嘴说：“嘿，这样灭鼠的方法，不是太花钱了吗？

评论：那送人上太空究竟是为了什么

6.甲：你最精通的是哪国语言？
乙：当然是汉语。
甲：那你会外语吗？
乙：会，只会半门。
甲：半门？
乙：是，日语中的汉字我都会，这可不是假的。

评论：我还会说多国家的语言呢，就是不知道什么意思

7.爸爸：你10岁，我40岁，我是你的4倍。
儿子：你抽烟，我抽烟，我才抽你的四分之一的烟。

评论：不知道夜里两父子床上能力是怎样比较的.

8.妈妈：小吉，吃完饭就换上那条破裤子去找你爷爷玩。
小吉：找爷爷玩，还非要穿破裤子？
妈妈：你懂什么,爷爷今天发工资了。

评论：这妈妈太黑了，爷爷也不放过

9.小明打完架跑回来，爸爸就说：“记住，大人是犯法的，知道吗？”
小明：“知道，爸爸你打人了吗》？“
爸爸：“我也一样不能随便打人“
小明：“哦，那请你在我的试卷上签个名吧。"

评论：小明不仅会打架，还很精明。

10.有一天，一坨黑色的大便看到了一坨白色的大便，
　　黑大便问：你为啥长的那么白那么漂亮？
　　白大便听了非常生气！
　　他说：我又不是大便！我是冰淇淋！
评论：你还吃的下去么。。。

最后一个笑话很有用，哈哈，受用了。多谢楼主。

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