查看完整版本: 新短笑话10则

新短笑话10则

[b][/b][color=Black][b][/b][/color]1、 刚手机丢了，急忙用朋友手机打过去，很客气的问：你好，您是不是刚捡到个手机。接电话的直接回答：什么的捡的，我刚偷的！
评论：现在的小偷太牛了.
2、一网友发问：“想勾搭一个菇凉很久了.今天终于鼓起勇气说了那句华丽丽的心声：滚床单吗？她的回答也是十分坚定：滚！请教各位...这菇凉到底是答应我了吗？”
评论：你们相信不相信我不知道，反正我是相信答应滚了。
3、老头临终前向老伴忏悔：“我曾经有过一段婚外恋，请你原谅！” 老伴安慰道：“多大事啊，你可以瞑目了！咱家的孩子哪一个长得像你？
评论：是我就弄死这老太了。
4、千万不要给淘宝上卖情趣用品的差评，哪怕你收到的货跟我收到的一样烂，否则你就可能在给出差评后一周内于众目睽睽之下签收到一件0.5米*0.2米*1.6米的长形包裹，包装各面都写着充气娃娃以及你姓名电话的几个大字会亮瞎你的狗眼 。更王八蛋的是里面压根就没有充气娃娃，全是废报纸！
评论：好主意，以后整人就用这招了。
5、据说一道哈佛大学入学考试试题，考的是安全套，一直在网络盛传：两男两女，各有不同性病，现只有两个安全套，要求每个男的都和每个女的发生性关系，且不互相传染病。问如何使用安全套？
答案：A男戴两层×A女，脱下外层×B女，然后内层留下备用。B男戴外层×A女，不脱外层，直接再套上刚才的内层×B女。
评论：要不要太牛逼？
6、突然发现爱情和受精这两个词长得好像
评论：笑话不要很长。
7、一女生跟男朋友分手了，旁边她同学安慰她：“那男的有什么好，土木工程的，一听就知道又“土”又“木”的！”旁边软件工程的男同学一听，心都凉了半截……
评论：不好，哥也是这个专业的。
8、郑渊洁发了个微博，建议大家用居住地+星座+属相的方式来表明自己身份。比如我是岳阳巨蟹鼠。然后下面有人弱弱的回复一条：“大家别笑话，我是开封处女鸡。"
评论：老郑，你不是不是故意的？
9、Windows显示：“您可能是盗版软件的受害者……”不，微软，你搞错了，你才是盗版软件的受害者，而我，不是……--
评论：我们这块都不是······
10、“……你究竟看上我哪点了？我改还不行么”.“我就是喜欢你不喜欢我，你改啊~~~”
评论：道高一尺，魔高一丈。

1.那你还给我，我让你再偷偷练练手呗
2.其实你问问：“那你先到床单上去吧”
3.这黑锅背得也太厉害了吧
4.谁看见你就和谁说：“那个谁谁谁，给你买的充气娃娃到了，过来拿吧”
5.我看了几遍，搞不清楚，这个还是要实习一下才知道
6.这两个本来就是一体的
7.又软又贱，你还让不让人活了啊
8.郁闷了，泰州白羊鼠
9.你才是受害者呢，别忽悠我的智商
10.这还真改不了，哥们你就凑合着吧

楼上的评论挺详细 应该给个优秀吧 多给点金币吧 我就不跟风也这么写了

第一个笑话说得很现实，现在这个社会就这个样，小偷偷你东西你们一起去派出所，小偷肯定比你先出来，因为你要做笔录

1.看来这个手机是拿不回来，还是想想要不要买个智能3G手机吧
2.不用太伤心，就当是她答应了，等滚床单的时候再说吧
3.这老头还能瞑目嘛，应该活过来把事情做完了再死，或者带个走也行呀
4.商家也伤不起呀，小心他天天给你打电话，餐上也打，做爱的时候也打，那就哭也来不急啦
5.这个题我做过，就为了省个TT，费那么大劲
6.我也是突然发现，还真有点象呢，有爱就有受，有情才有精
7.幸好我不是这个专业
8.我是苏州金牛虎，听起来还可以嘛
9.钱没了就是受害了，没用钱有的用就是受益了
10.终于看到第一句的强势对答句了

1、小偷也真够强悍的。
2、滚到是表示让他滚还是听他的滚床单。
3、这次老头真不瞑目了。
4、那可真够逗的，让你的单位都用异样的眼光看他。
5、没搞清楚。我没有那么聪明。
6、的确是很像
7、老郑这个创意真有点意思，是不是真的。
8、听起来真有点意思。
9、非常有道理。
10、这个回答太牛X了

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[url=http://b1.w0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b2.w0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b3.w0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b4.w0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b5.w0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b1.x0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b2.x0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b3.x0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b4.x0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b5.x0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b1.y0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b2.y0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b3.y0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b4.y0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b5.y0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b1.z0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b2.z0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b3.z0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b4.z0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b5.z0800.com/] [/url] [url=http://b6.z0800.com/] [/url]

来了很久了，竟然发现还有这么一个版块，楼主的段子真的是太搞笑了。:excellence

第四个笑话太精经典了，我笑抽了。哈哈，楼主威武

第五个笑话也太牛B了，能算明白的也是牛人